COPD

[jennyj1979]

It has become very apparent that my fathers days are numbered. He was just released from the hospital this past weekend even though his O2 drops as soon as he stands up. Last weekend he fell at home because he was so dizzy and cracked his ribs. He now requires the assistance of a cane. His home health nurse came yeseterday and was very concerned about him. She said he should not be home alone. He is so frail and weak, not eating, his legs are so swollen still, and he still gets very dizzy and short of breath. The doctors told us that he had a touch of pneomonia and that is what was causing his issues. Now I know better then that. I know this is his illness all catching up with him. I know that the end is near for him and I want him to be comfortable and happy. It breaks my heart knowing that he is there all by himself most of the time. My mother has come to the point where she just cannot handle this anymore. She is in counseling herself, and has told me that she cannot take care of him anymore, as she needs to take care of herself. I am finding myself getting very angry... if I could do more I would. I would be there all the time for him. I have placed inquiries into hospice care and am waiting for them to get back to me. We need help and we need it fast. Anyone that can offer any encouraging words please do. I am at a loss... Its only me and my mother that can take care of him and my mother is beyond burnt out. That leaves me, a mother of three holding a fulltime job that I need to be at to afford our bills.

What do I do?????? Help!!!

[Davy9]

Jenny, I think we had discussed the services of a hospice provider. Hospice is trained specifically to deal with, and help the patient and the patients family deal with the exact situations you describe. But, to be clear, hospice can only help make a difficult situation better. It will still be difficult.

Anger, despair, guilt, the whole gamut of emotions accompany end of life events. All of our lives will culminate in some final moment. It is natural, it is unavoidable and often it is not easy. Your fathers circumstances are out of your and your mothers control. They are no fault of either of you and neither of you can do much to make them any easier. Be strong in these late stages and prepare yourselves for the loss.

If you have no yet contacted hospice do so immediately. They will know how to help. Hospice in our area actually sees to it that patients are not left alone. They have people who will come into the home and give family members a respite from the stress.