COPD

[mama's angel]

I am a daughter who stop working to take care of my mother who has severe COPD The doctors have not told me she is in the end stage but all the material I read indicates that's the stage she's in. I can't find anything that mention the mood swings she is having. She cries more and more now. At least twice a week. I called my brother and told him I feel I am making mother sick. I feel she looks at me and start cyying. I try to stay out of her way. I only want to do the things that she know she can't do any more. Cook Clean Wash get her water. I am here 24/7. I gladly gave up my life to care for her. I walked away from my home and moved in with her. I am glad I am blessed and able to do it. Please don't take this as I am complaining because I am not. I want to be here for her in everyway. I am wandering if there is anything I can do to cheer her up. The air outside is to bad for her even with her oxygen. The air in the house is also bad for her she say. She stay in her room and play games on the computer and look out the window at her dog. Some days when it is cool enough she'll push her wheel chair out there and play with the dog for a couple of minutes. I call that a good day because when she go to sleep and wake up, I don't know what type of mood she will be in.

Open for all suggestion. She will never allow a stranger to come in and care for her.

[Davy9]

2 things.

It is very likely that your mother is suffering from depression or some other psychological consequence of being chronically ill. You just being there and helping might emphasize her predicament in her mind. You need to discuss her situation with her physician and see if they cannot intervene in some way.

Secondly, you need let her do as much as she can do for herself. If she does little for herself she will become less physically conditioned. She should be working to safely maximize her physical abilities. Physical, Occupational and Respiratory Therapists can evaluate her and provide both of you with programs to safely accomplish this. I think too that she would feel better about her situation if she were more independent with her own care and enabled.

To be clear this does not mean that I think you being there is wrong. It is very likely that she can no longer live alone and that with you there she will do much better. I am saying that, for her health and for her attitude, that she still needs to work at being as active as possible. Again, this has been well studied and help is available through the therapy disciplines I mentioned above. This approach is called "respiratory rehabilitation" and it is typically done by hospitals.

I would like to add that you are to be commended for taking on the responsibilities of helping out with your mom. It is an emotional drain on you too so expect that and the possibility of dealing with it. Allow friends and other social organizations to help you both as well. If there is a family church they can be an excellent resource for both of you.

[LungDoc]

[quote="mama's angel"]I am a daughter who stop working to take care of my mother who has severe COPD. The doctors have not told me she is in the end stage but all the material I read indicates that's the stage she's in. I can't find anything that mention the mood swings she is having. She cries more and more now. At least twice a week. I called my brother and told him I feel I am making mother sick. I feel she looks at me and start cyying. I try to stay out of her way. I only want to do the things that she know she can't do any more. Cook Clean Wash get her water. I am here 24/7. I gladly gave up my life to care for her. I walked away from my home and moved in with her. I am glad I am blessed and able to do it. Please don't take this as I am complaining because I am not. I want to be here for her in everyway. I am wandering if there is anything I can do to cheer her up. The air outside is to bad for her even with her oxygen. The air in the house is also bad for her she say. She stay in her room and play games on the computer and look out the window at her dog. Some days when it is cool enough she'll push her wheel chair out there and play with the dog for a couple of minutes. I call that a good day because when she go to sleep and wake up, I don't know what type of mood she will be in.

Open for all suggestion. She will never allow a stranger to come in and care for her.[/quote]

There is a fairly high incidence of anxiety and depression in patients with chronic lung disease. Fear of not being able to breathe only amplifies this. While it is completely understandable that she has feelings of isolation or frustration at not being able to do what she like to do, she does not have to suffer on with the depression. There are a number of excellent medications that could be tried to help improve her depression and give her some quality of life back. A good review of her medications with her pulmonologist or primary care doctor should also be had, as medications can also cause or worsen depression. Hope this helps.

[mama's angel]

Thank You. I wasn't sure adding anti-depression meds to her already mountain of meds was an option. I just thought maybe it could be a stage of COPD. I will talk to her doctors. Again Thank You.